“Torah Jew” Parody of Shape of You by Ed Sheeran

 In Shlock Rock Songs

Lyrics:

The pub is not the best place to learn the Torah
So the car is where I go (mmmm)
Zvi is my friend, we go driving in our Sable
with Shlock Rock on the car stereo (mmmm)
We get some information and we strengthen our conviction
From beginner to advanced now
Walkin the Land, Stop, Keep on Giving, Abarbanel
No need to leave it to chance, Cause now I’m thinkin’

This world, we know is upside down
Money revered and integrity on the ground
You need something to believe
Don’t be lazy, You’ll hear me

Saying, God, We haven’t talked so much
Cant wait any longer learnt some Jewish history
Abraham followed your lead
Abraham followed your lead (mmmm)

How to be a Torah Jew
Keeping Kosher and Shabbat too
Love your neighbor just as you
All the rest is commentary

They’ve all said that we were doomed
But the twelve tribes just come through
Everyday uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

Amar Amar Rav Akiva (3x)
All the rest is commentary
Every day uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

First week in we learn of Adam’s first sin
Go forward to Twenty Four Forty Eight
You and me are at Sinai, We shall do and we shall hear
Now the people are complete (mmmm)
We walk for years and years with the manna and the cloud
And God is showing the way (mmmm)
We enter the land, Cause that was the plan
Until we were driven away, And I’m singing like

This world, we know is upside down
Admired are the handsome, but that’s pure vanity
You need something to believe
Don’t be lazy, You’ll hear me

Saying, God, We haven’t talked so much
Cant wait any longer learnt some Jewish history
Abraham followed your lead
Abraham followed your lead (mmmm)

How to be a Torah Jew
Keeping Kosher and Shabbat too
Love your neighbor just as you
All the rest is commentary

They’ve all said that we were doomed
But the twelve tribes just come through
Everyday uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

Amar Amar Rav Akiva (3x)
All the rest is commentary
Every day uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

Amar Rav Akiva Amar (8x)

How to be a Torah Jew
Keeping Kosher and Shabbat too
Love your neighbor just as you
All the rest is commentary

They’ve all said that we were doomed
But the twelve tribes just come through
Everyday uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

Amar Rav Akiva Amar
Amar Rav Akiva Amar
All the rest is commentary
Amar Rav Akiva Amar
Amar Rav Akiva Amar
All the rest is commentary
Amar Rav Akiva Amar
Amar Rav Akiva Amar
All the rest is commentary

Everyday uncovering the secret to
How to be a Torah Jew

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